Here is a great story written by my Agent Jessica. Very touching and it shows the world can change for the better!
here is the link;
http://gayweddingmexico.com/blog/?p=165
the story;
A NASCAR DRIVER a ROCK AND ROLL STAR and a BOY….
Permalink | Filed under: Uncategorized | Jessica Arent @ 8:40 pm |
Life is extraordinary. Really extraordinary. You have no idea where you are going to end up or who will influence your life from one day to the next. Fate is always at hand. I relate to the kids whose parents toss them aside or isolate them because my parents simply never understood me, nor could they control me and therefore would prefer to have nothing at all to do with me. Disagreeing with my parents is apparently cause enough to be blocked from Facebooks, emails and phones. A hard lesson and experience regardless of your age, and a painful one I can say from first hand experience.
It took 43 years to put the peices of the puzzle together, and to understand that I was neither favored nor loved and especially not liked, and to understand what that meant to my perception of self, but more importantly I learned and understood what kids go through when they share the intimate part of themselves that tells the parent they are not the ideal the parent had in mind.
With all of this said, it is ironic that in my fight to stand up for my child, and take a position on equality it has brought me into the lives of extraordinary people. This past week, because of a brave OUT NASCAR driver, an introduction was made to a rock and roll icon of my childhood, and I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to have an intimate conversation and begin to get to know someone I idolized throughout my childhood. This man was part of a band that has seen 5 decades and countless hits, poured into the bedrooms of impressionable young girls and piped through the car radio’s of young boys around the world. Their music was harmonious and cutting edge and they are heard in movie soundtracks, flashbacks, classic radio and rock and roll stations, and even Southpark! To say I was not slightly awestruck to find myself sitting next to this man over cheesecake and cappuccino, or later to witness him pull off yet one more concert to a nearly sold out crowd, would have been a lie. I was inspired.
The point however for me, was not to meet the man myself, but to create an introduction for my son. What is extraordinary about this artist, is that he is gay. He was and always has been, and while it was not until 1991 that he officially came out, he lived a life as a performer, and honestly, teenage heart-throb to boys and girls alike his entire career, one which began in 1962. Imagine, your life, under cover, in the limelight, a celebrity, and you are not living authentically to anyone, until 30 years into your career. What a tremendous hardship and journey. This man however, does not emit self pity. Not exactly 100% healthy at his age, and performing with the band part time, he takes his life as a gift and no longer for granted, and he tells a compelling story in a personal autobiography of his fame and fortune and his sexuality. What I wanted for my child in this meeting was to introduce him to someone that lived his dreams and aspired to greatness in his own craft, despite the odds and the pitfalls of being different. A remarkable success story, despite the odds and near loss of life.
While my child sat through coffee and cake, he had no clue who he was sitting with. This in itself was refreshing, because my newfound friend will tell you, he is just another person who is like anyone else, except that he got to live his dream of being a Rock and Roll star! But I watched my child’s face as he listened intently to the stories being told and knew that this man was leaving a positive impression on my child. Later at the concert, witness to the star quality and remarkable talent of this performer, and understanding the decades of the music and the following this band has even today, gave me a sense of incredible joy because my son was understanding the lesson I had hoped to impart. YOU CAN BE ANYONE YOU WANT TO BE REGARDLESS OF YOUR PREFERENCES. It is not about who you are in your love life, it is about who you are as a person.
After the concert this amazing man, and enormous heart, sought us out. It was a proud moment for me, beyond words, when he turned to my son and told him that he was a reflection of who this man had once been at the same age, and that HE was humbled to have met Chase. What was pivotal for me, were the words this great man said next “Chase, you are MY new hero. You are brave and courageous and you are going to leave an indellible mark on this world. You inspire me”. He asked Chase to be sure to stay in touch and invite him to his gradiation in a few years when that time comes. I was never so proud of my child as I was in this incredible moment.
We talked alot that day, this great artist and I. We talked about the kids who are cast out, unloved or even percieved as different and therefore tolerated or loved differently. We talked about his own relationship with his parents, and the difference in affection and disposition his mother had for him as opposed to his twin brother, who was straight. We talked about the parents obligation and responsibility to love each child unconditionally and with full acceptance because that is what the child is entitled to and should have and we talked about how “lucky” Chase is to have parents like my husband and I who would move the mountains and oceans to be sure our child knows he is loved and adored 100% for ALL of who he is.
WE can talk about “it gets better” to our LGBT youth. We can address the tomorrows in the Gay communities and express our desire to see the world change, but until we take an ACTION for today, until we open the hearts and minds of the world around us, and especially until we take those children by the hand and assure them that they are loved and wanted and respected and cherished, and until we show them by example and action that tomorrow will be better through the effort of today, it won’t make a difference. Our kids need answers today. Our kids need action today. They need leaders and mentors and they need love and acceptance. They need to know that we are all fallible and imperfect made this way on purpose and they are extraordinary no matter who they are.
While so many kids are cast out or isolated for being Gay or being headstrong, or “uncontrollable”, one thought comes to mind. Perserverence. I have seen many obstacles and made sacrifices to stand up tall for what I believe in and it has cost me relationships along the way, for me expecially the parent-child relationship. Perhaps this is what makes me the mother I am, and drives me harder to make a difference in the lives of those around me and for whom I champion. Perhaps it is overcoming the ideal to settle into the real, and surround myself with kind, tolerant and accepting people, is the world I create and now call family. Perhaps being cast out by my own parents, was the path God intended so that I could better relate to those who also were cast out for reasons of their own, and ultimately builds this exceptional, impactive and beautiful community around me. I no longer feel sorry for myself. I no longer feel sad for what I am missing because I have discovered that what I am gaining on this path has a far greater return in the end and gives me the tools to understand, be compassionate and forage new trails in this final frontier of equality.
I thank my NASCAR friend, Evan Darling, for making this possible for my son. I thank my performer Rock and Roll friend for the candor and generosity of heart and spirit with which he told his story and moreoever for opening heart and hand to us for the experience to meet him. WE thank them both, for making a difference in our lives in this moment.
